Psychological Safety Begins at the Top: A Leadership Blind Spot Revealed

In today's corporate landscape, creating a culture of psychological safety is more than just a goal—it's a necessity for fostering trust, innovation, and growth. Yet, it remains one of the most elusive aspects of leadership. Recently, I had a first-hand experience that serves as a powerful reminder of how easy it is to talk about psychological safety and much harder to model it, especially at the leadership level.

The Event That Prompted This Reflection

A global pharmaceutical company recently approached me to interview for a prospective keynote position for their upcoming Compliance Week event. During the interview, I spoke with six senior leaders—directors and managers—tasked with assessing my fit for their event. The panel emphasized their commitment to fostering a "Speak Up Culture," a value they considered central to their compliance efforts.

After the 30-minute interview, I was accidentally copied on an internal thread where the panel members shared their feedback. What followed was a series of harsh judgments about my character, including statements like, "There still seems to be a victim mentality coming across from this speaker." This conclusion was not based on any meaningful discussion about my personal journey but rather on superficial impressions from a brief exchange.

What struck me most was how one leader’s comment seemed to imply that I should still carry shame for events that occurred more than 20 years ago—events I’ve openly acknowledged and addressed in my bestselling book, Blind Spots - Why Good People Make Bad Choices. I’ve publicly shared my story and embraced it as a source of personal growth. The shame that once existed has long healed, replaced by a deeper understanding and acceptance of my past.

The Disconnection Between Words and Actions

Here lies the irony: I had just spent 30 minutes discussing the importance of ethical decision-making and trust, only to witness firsthand a breakdown of these very principles. The leaders who sought to reinforce a "Speak Up Culture" were, in that moment, undermining its foundation by engaging in judgmental and unconstructive communication behind closed doors.

Psychological safety cannot exist in environments where judgment is the immediate reaction to someone's story or perspective. If leaders make snap judgments—whether spoken or written—they inadvertently set a tone of fear and silence. Employees pick up on these cues and may hesitate to speak up, fearing similar judgments, even if they don't directly witness them.

Judgment: The Poison to Psychological Safety

One of the most poignant lessons from this experience is the corrosive nature of judgment in leadership. Leaders often judge others by their actions but judge themselves by their intentions—a well-known double standard. This unconscious bias, known as fundamental attribution error, allows us to excuse our own behavior while being quick to criticize others.

If senior leaders within an organization engage in judgmental behavior, even in private, it creates an environment where psychological safety cannot thrive. People will not feel safe to speak up or share concerns if they sense that leaders are quick to judge behind closed doors. The perception of judgment, whether experienced directly or indirectly, is a barrier to the very culture of openness and trust that these leaders claimed to value.

What Could Have Been Done Differently?

Instead of jumping to conclusions based on a brief interview, good leadership would have explored their concerns more deeply. If one of the leaders felt I exhibited a “victim mentality,” wouldn’t it have been more effective to schedule another conversation? They could have asked follow-up questions, sought clarity, or simply engaged in a dialogue to better understand my character and story.

Rather than relying on assumptions, great leaders take the time to understand what makes them uncomfortable. They are curious, not judgmental. They listen, inquire, and seek to gather the full picture before making character assessments. Open, honest conversations could have revealed the healing and accountability I’ve experienced and conveyed in my talks—information that was not fully explored in a single 30-minute interview.

Leaders who embody psychological safety ask questions like:

• "What additional context am I missing?"
• "How can I better understand this person's experience?"
• "Is my reaction rooted in a bias or past assumption?"

These are the kinds of questions that create an environment where people feel seen and heard, not judged.

Shifting from Shame to Reflection

From a psychological perspective, it’s perfectly healthy for me to have moved past the shame of my past choices, especially since I’ve already acknowledged my mistakes and worked through the guilt. After 20 years, particularly given the non-violent nature of the crime and the work I’ve done since then, it makes sense to shift from shame to a more reflective and even light-hearted approach when appropriate.

Laughter, especially self-directed humor, can be a powerful tool for healing and growth. By laughing at the "stupid choices" I made, I’m not dismissing their significance but showing that I’ve gained distance and perspective. This attitude can make my teaching more relatable and impactful, as it shows others that making mistakes is part of the human experience and that growth and redemption are possible.

Psychologically, the ability to look back on difficult experiences without being weighed down by shame is a sign of healing and resilience. It reflects emotional intelligence and the ability to model vulnerability and strength simultaneously. This kind of mindset can inspire others to face their own blind spots and make better choices. Leaders, too, can embrace this balance—owning their past while using it as a source of wisdom without letting it hold them back emotionally.

A Leader's Role in Cultivating Psychological Safety

Creating a psychologically safe workplace starts with leadership. Research consistently shows that the higher one rises in leadership, the greater their potential for blind spots. According to a Korn Ferry study, 79% of executives have a distorted view of their own blind spots. I refer to this phenomenon as the Expert Fallacy—the more seasoned we become, the more prone we are to a closed mindset, thinking "I’ve seen it all."

When leaders become closed to new perspectives, they unwittingly stifle psychological safety. They may believe they are promoting openness, but their actions communicate the opposite. Leadership, especially at the top, requires constant self-examination and humility. As Plato once said, "Know thyself." Without self-awareness, leaders risk becoming obstacles to the very cultures they wish to create.

A Personal Response

After reading the thread of emails, I knew I could not, in good conscience, accept the keynote position. I sent the following message to the team:

Dear Compliance Team,

I must admit I am both surprised and disappointed by the swift judgments made regarding my character, particularly from individuals who do not know me personally. Such assumptions reflect a lack of understanding and empathy that I had not anticipated from this group.

A recent Korn Ferry study highlights that 79% of executives do not have an accurate understanding of their own blind spots. I encourage you to reflect on this insight.

Given these circumstances, I respectfully decline the invitation to speak at your Compliance Week or any future [REDACTED] events.

Best wishes for your continued success,
Kevin

The moderator of the panel responded with a heartfelt apology, acknowledging the mistake and expressing regret. However, the larger lesson here isn’t about the email accident—it’s about why the snap judgments were made in the first place.

The Call to Action for Leaders

Leaders must recognize that judgment, not just overt actions, can erode trust and psychological safety. To foster a truly open "Speak Up Culture," leaders must model vulnerability, humility, and a willingness to reflect on their own blind spots. The higher you climb, the more diligent you must be in maintaining self-awareness.

As you read this, I encourage you to reflect on the ways in which you might unintentionally judge others—often without realizing it. Remember the saying, “We judge others by their actions, but judge ourselves by our intentions.” This double standard exists in all of us, but it can be addressed through self-awareness and emotional intelligence.

Leadership is not about having all the answers or making judgments from on high; it’s about creating a space where others feel safe to speak, contribute, and grow. As leadership expert Amy Edmondson has said, "A fearless organization is not one that acts without caution, but one that speaks up without fear."

As a leader, are you modeling psychological safety, or are you unknowingly sowing fear through judgment? Self-awareness is the key to unlocking a culture of trust and psychological safety. It starts with understanding your blind spots—before they inadvertently harm those around you.

Final Thoughts

Building a culture of psychological safety is not a one-time task; it is an ongoing process of self-reflection and growth. If you're a leader, now is the time to ask yourself: Are you fostering a culture where people feel truly safe to speak up?

Psychological safety starts with you.