Pressure Related Blind Spots

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Awareness Advantage Podcast
Pressure Related Blind Spots

Kevin McCarthy, and Likky Lavji

The following is a summary of this episode of the Awareness Advantage podcast. Each week bestselling Blind Spots authors, Kevin McCarthy and Likky Lavji and a studio audience of managers and senior leaders throughout North America discuss overcoming blind spots to develop and lead high-functioning, high-trust teams and organizational cultures.bestselling Blind Spots authors, Kevin McCarthy and Likky Lavji invite managers and leaders throughout North America to join the virtual studio audience to discuss overcoming blind spots to develop and lead high-functioning, high-trust teams and organizational cultures. If you would like to be invited to join the live virtual studio audience, click here. 

Pressure

We all have pressures in our lives that affect how we do our jobs, our feelings, our relationships…

These pressures can be external pressure or internal pressure, but are most commonly–both!

So what are the external pressures we deal with? Pressures at work, deadlines, communications… Maybe it is the pressure from that one person with whom you have continual conflict, or a family member you just don’t get along with!

Do you ever feel like you need to be everything to everyone? Or trying to please everybody? What about family commitments? Especially around the holidays? What about having to rely on others? 

For example, you can do your job perfectly, but if the rest of your back office doesn't follow through or doesn't have the same quality standards, or the same urgency, then you are the one who is left holding the bag for others. The lack of commitment of team members, (or their inability to do their job), can put serious pressure on you.

Sometimes that same external pressure is paired with the pressure you put on yourself.

The Fraud Triangle 

There's something in the world of fraud investigation called “The Fraud Triangle”. When its three components: pressure, opportunity and rationalization come together, it creates the perfect recipe for an honest person to do something dishonest. When you get into a pressure situation, and the opportunity exists, rationalization happens and the chance for breaching your ethics–even if you don't blatantly commit a fraudulent crime–increases. 

When you look at the dynamics of good people doing bad things or making bad choices, the Fraud Triangle is a good visualization that shows that  where there is opportunity, pressures and rationalization, bad decisions can be made at work, or at home. When we are under pressure, we can start to rationalize whatever it is we're going to rationalize.

Beyond the stress it causes, pressure can cause us to make the wrong decisions. Which is more than enough reason to work on removing pressures from our lives and setting boundaries. This is true of ourselves, as well as the leaders on our teams.

Whether it's yourself as a leader, or your own leaders, opportunities may exist for making poor choices. If we're going to make a bad decision or what appears to be a bad decision, if we are under enough pressure, we're going to rationalize it. If we don't know who our staff are, and if our leaders don't know who we are, it can be impossible to implement a process that heads off bad decisions before they happen. This is where the self-awareness of the pressures happening to us and in our orbit, allow us to anticipate potential risks and address them before they become crises. 

Perfectionism and Pressure

Does anybody deal with perfectionism? That can be a real pressure! What's the difference between perfectionism and just excellence? Because that's always our rationalization. Have you ever said, “I’m not a perfectionist, I just want excellence”?

 “All perfectionism is, is the 20-ton shield we carry around hoping it'll keep us from being hurt while in truth, it keeps us from being seen”. - Brené Brown

Perfectionism is not just a pressure we put on ourselves, but it can be one that we grew up with or that others put upon us as we age. The people who went to private school, the people who were in the military, or the parents who said you’ve got to do homework and master your multiplication tables. How did that shape us… and how do we raise our kids because of that?

Expectation Gap

One of the things that comes with pressure is the expectation gaps. When we have this internal pressure to live up to someone else's standards (or maybe our own standards in the case of our perfectionism), then we create expectation gaps because the reality is that perfectionism is up here and reality comes in down here. We as humans are never going to be perfect. When we expect to be at the top and our reality comes in below that, we create a gap and that expectation gap always is filled with negativity. Always disappointment, discouragement, disillusionment, frustration, anger, you name it. And that's where we go when we create an expectation gap. That's how we deal with the expectation gap and you begin to think “I'm not good enough, I'll never measure up.” 

Coming to terms with what is a reasonable expectation of ourselves and others, as well as what undue pressure can do to our ability to do our jobs, live up to our ethical standards, and be successful without compromising our morals is not a “careful balance” – it is in fact, just self-awareness and understanding of how pressure can not only take us down the wrong path, but shift the entire ethos of an organization.

Managing Pressures

So, how do you manage the pressures you are dealing with? One solution is to watch for those expectation gaps. The expectations you place upon yourself will influence your behavior. Learning how to manage your expectations can reduce internal pressures. Ask, “what expectations do I have for myself?” Then ask yourself if those expectations are reasonable. Be kind and don’t judge yourself when you fall short of those expectations. Learn to laugh at your shortcomings. After all, that old cliche is very true - nobody is perfect.

Raising your self-awareness and emotional intelligence will make you a better leader. High self-awareness equips you to identify and conquer the blind spots that lead to poor decisions, strained relationships and high levels of stress. Awareness is the leader’s superpower that drives engagement, inspires retention and shifts culture. Awareness gives you the advantage you need to influence and inspire the people you lead.

If you would like to know more about how self-awareness makes a better leader, download and subscribe to our latest podcast.