Feeling valued helps boost confidence, reduce stress and improve performance. Psychologist Joseph A. Shrand explains that being valued is a basic human instinct that goes back millions of years when our ancestors figured out that when we work together, we are less likely to be prey, and more likely to have food, shelter and comfort. Dr. Shrand says that in the back of our brains “When we sense that somebody else sees us with less value, we worry that we will be kicked out of our protective group, and some predator will come and eat us. That we will be lunch. That we will not survive.”
Broken down like that, it is easy to see why when we think we are not being valued, anxiety creeps in, and we get upset! So how do we get people to value us?
Some people will always be in their own heads and not value those around them. Frankly, you can’t do a lot about those people, but you CAN make an effort to show the people around you that they are valued.
Here are some ways to show people that they are valued:
Make time – Your time is your most valuable asset. When you give your time to someone, you are showing them respect and showing them value.
Give someone your full attention – Deliberate, focused attention paid to others makes them feel like they are heard and seen.
Be reliable – Show up when you say you will. Finish a project on time. Be consistent and reliable for the people in your world.
Share knowledge – Helping someone else learn a skill, or gain insight is a gift like no other. Offer your unique experience and show you really value someone else.
Be curious – Show others that you value them by asking questions about them, their ideas and their backgrounds.
Raising your self-awareness and emotional intelligence will make you a better leader. High self-awareness equips you to identify and conquer the blind spots that lead to poor decisions, strained relationships and high levels of stress. Awareness is the leader’s superpower that drives engagement, inspires retention and shifts culture. Awareness gives you the advantage you need to influence and inspire the people you lead.
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